


wanna live not just survive

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Celebrations, Clothed Sex, F/F, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:55:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: (spoilers for TRoS)Rey seeks out some solitude during the celebration but when she finds Zorii, she realizes that solitude might not be quite what she wants after all.
Relationships: Zorii Bliss/Rey
Comments: 29
Kudos: 139





	wanna live not just survive

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The Cab.

All around her was joyful shouting, friends reuniting, tears of relief and happiness and, yes, sorrow, too. Every few steps Rey found herself getting stopped, a pilot pulling her into a hug, a communications officer patting her on the shoulder, friends and strangers alike. It was beautiful and overwhelming and Rey needed a minute.

It was easy to lose herself in the trees, to leave the thick of the victory behind her. The air was warm on her face and the breeze smelled sweet, like the scent of the forest itself beneath her nose.

“You look rough.”

Rey turned at the voice. It was Zorii, Poe’s friend. (Maybe friend? Possibly? It was obviously complicated.) She looked down at herself, dirty and bruised, splattered with blood.

Well, it could be worse. She was pretty sure she had been dead not very long ago.

“I’m a little tired,” Rey said.

Zorii laughed. “A little tired? You look like you went ten rounds with a rancor.”

“Something like that.”

She was quiet for a moment, watching. It was impossible to tell what Zorii was thinking or what she wanted, behind that mask. Rey had had enough of masks, honestly.

_(No. Don’t think about that. Don’t think about him.)_

“Your friends are back there, aren’t they?” Zorii asked, nodding her head into the trees where Rey had come from. The sounds of celebration were still loud and all around. “Poe? …Finn?”

Rey glanced back over her shoulder. The relief that they were okay still warmed her through, the knowledge that they were all going to be okay. Even so, she just couldn’t… She wasn’t ready for their questions, and she didn’t know how to explain that without hurting their feelings. She just needed time, and maybe some space to be alone.

Not too much alone, though. Rey liked the noise. She liked knowing she only needed to walk past those trees and see them again, safe and happy.

“Yes,” Rey said, and offered nothing further. She wondered why Zorii cared.

Still completely inscrutable, Zorii stood there, and she said, “Come on.”

“What?”

Zorii gestured. “This way.”

Puzzled, Rey followed the other woman into the trees. Zorii led her to what must have been her ship, then signaled for Rey to wait while she rummaged through the storage compartment. She retrieved a bag, which she held up.

“Here,” Zorii said, and sat on a fallen log. She patted the space next to her. “Sit?”

“Why?”

“So I can help you look a little less rough.” It sounded like she was rolling her eyes, or at least expressing a similar sentiment.

“You don’t have to help me.”

“No, and I didn’t have to help Poe either, but I guess I’ve got a thing for stubborn, morally righteous idiots who can’t stay out of trouble. Now sit down.”

Rey couldn’t decide if she was offended or not. “Poe’s a bigger stubborn idiot than I am,” she said, but she sat next to Zorii.

“Okay,” Zorii said, and Rey could make out the muffled huff of laughter from within her helmet.

Zorii set to work cleaning up Rey. In all honesty, Rey had no idea how bad her injuries looked; she hadn’t bothered trying to take stock. There hadn’t seemed to be a point and she had been… Distracted was almost an understatement. She did know that her head hurt, when she thought about it, and that was where Zorii was focusing her attention.

She worked in silence, her touch efficient. After a couple of minutes Rey said, “You’re not going to ask what happened?”

“Figured you’d say if you wanted me to know. Otherwise it’s not my business.”

Rey was so surprised she didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want to talk about it, about any of it, but everyone was asking. She was almost embarrassed by how relieved she was, how thankful, that Zorii didn’t care. Or didn’t think she needed to know. Either way, Rey appreciated it.

They went on in silence, and that was comforting, too. The sheer amount of _things_ going on in the Resistance, the people, was still overwhelming sometimes for Rey, after her life of solitude. As much as she loved her friends, it was nice not to feel pressure to interact.

Still, as Zorii carefully applied a bacta-infused ointment to a cut on Rey’s temple, Rey found herself saying, “I’m glad you made it off Kijimi.”

“Yeah, me, too.” Zorii sat back as she finished, like she was inspecting her handiwork. “Still a bit surprised I followed Poe after all, though.”

Rey didn’t know enough about Zorii, about her relationship with Poe, to really understand, but she did know what she had seen. “You helped us save Chewie. You helped us here, too. That means a lot.”

“Poe wasn’t wrong about everything,” Zorii said. She reached up to the side of her helmet to depress a tiny mechanism that opened her visor, giving Rey a view of genuinely lovely green eyes.

She tried to hide that she was startled; Rey didn’t know what she had expected but apparently behind the mask, Zorii was a human woman around Poe’s age with a pretty face and beautiful eyes. She felt heat rising in her cheeks and wasn’t sure exactly why.

Zorii looked more closely at Rey and said, “That’s better. I figure you’re not the kind of person who will go running to a doctor so at least now I know you won’t keep bleeding all over.”

“Thank you,” Rey said, meaning it, and maybe meaning it for more than just the first aid.

“Like I said,” Zorii said, sounding like she might have been smiling, “I like you.”

“Can you take that off?” Rey blurted, and then she really was blushing.

Zorii watched her, eyes more amused than anything, and then said, “I guess there’s not much need to keep my face hidden here.” She lifted off the helmet, revealing brown hair pinned up and the rest of her very pretty face.

Rey looked away, biting her lip. She found herself thinking that no wonder Poe had asked for a kiss, before they raced off Kijimi to rescue Chewbacca.

“Sure you don’t want to find your friends? Celebrate? Think you deserve it.”

Looking back to Zorii again, Rey said, “I don’t think I’m really in the mood to celebrate.” Wanting to redirect the conversation, she said, “You don’t have to stay with me. You should find Poe.”

Zorii’s laugh sounded lighter without the barrier of her helmet. “If I wanted to find Poe, I would have.”

“Then what do you want?”

“Dunno.” Zorii shrugged. “Thought I’d be gone already by now, honestly.”

“You could stay,” Rey said on impulse. “We could use your help.”

“Yeah? What sort of help can a spice runner do? Put me in a ship, I’ve got your back, but this rebuilding stuff, that’s not me.”

Rey wasn’t so sure it was her, either, but that wasn’t something she wanted to say out loud. “I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. And anyway, you helped me.” Rey gnawed at her lip, feeling stupid. She wasn’t sure why she kept digging herself into this hole.

Zorii nudged her side. “That’s different.”

They fell silent again, the sounds from the victory celebration wafting around them but still distant enough that to Rey, it felt like another world. She didn’t feel ready to be part of that, but then she wanted…

What did she want? She was _alive._ It was over.

It was over.

Rey wiped her hand beneath her nose, hiding a sudden sniffle. What was she doing? She wasn’t going to cry, and certainly not in front of Zorii.

“Hey,” Zorii said, knocking against her side again, her body warm and solid. “It’s okay.”

“I lost someone,” Rey admitted, and it was the first time she had said it. “I… I…” She couldn’t tell Finn and Poe, not yet. She didn’t think they could understand. She hardly understood herself.

“I’m sorry.” Zorii sat quietly, and for some reason the silent solidarity of it, of Zorii simply being there with sympathy and without judgment, was exactly what Rey needed.

Then it occurred to her that she was being horribly selfish. “Stars,” she said. “Kijimi. You must have…”

“It’s okay.” Zorii looked up towards the treetops. “Babu was really my only friend there, and we got out. But the people, the… I’m here, right? I didn’t come for Poe. I came because the First Order was garbage and Poe was right about this war. So I’m here. I did something.”

“We couldn’t have won otherwise,” Rey said, thinking of the look on Poe’s face when he had told her what happened, all those ships, just people wanting to do something. Wanting to do the right thing. “We needed you.”

Damn it. Why was she blushing again?

Zorii rested her hand on Rey’s thigh, making Rey shiver, the blush intensifying. “And we really needed you, whatever the hell you did.”

“I just…” Rey shut her eyes for a second, opening them again to the foliage and sunlight surrounding her.

“That wasn’t a demand to tell me,” Zorii gently clarified. “Just a thanks. And an acknowledgment that you’re pretty damn amazing, Jedi.”

Without thinking, Rey laid her hand on Zorii’s. Zorii turned hers over, so they were clasping their hands together, and Rey was fervently grateful for the contact, for the reminder that she was here, she was alive.

(Stars, she was alive.)

Rey looked up, turning to Zorii, and found that Zorii was watching her, their eyes meeting.

Rey suddenly knew exactly what it was she wanted to do.

“There are other ways to celebrate,” Zorii said, a low, suggestive murmur, and Rey knew she had read the moment properly.

(A real triumph, honestly. Rey still wasn’t the best at… what was the right word? Socialization? People. She wasn’t always good with people. Too confusing, too complicated.)

Rey barely managed to say, “Maybe you should show me,” before Zorii was kissing her.

Zorii raised one palm to Rey’s cheek, her kiss soft and firm all at once. It felt like a kiss without expectation, a kiss that was promise and life and celebration, and Rey leaned into it.

She was here, and she was alive, and it was over. She wanted to remember that, at least for a little while. Not regret or sorrow, just… this.

A little bit questioningly, Zorii settled back, like she was waiting to see whether Rey wanted to continue.

Rey didn’t need to think to know that she did. In fact, she rather thought she was about done with thinking and wanted only to feel. She pulled Zorii back to her and kissed her, sliding her hand up Zorii’s side.

Zorii took the invitation, moving even closer until they were pressed against each other. “We can, uh, go somewhere else,” she said, tiny gasps between kisses.

“This is fine,” Rey said, mostly because she didn’t want to have to move. Zorii had wedged her thigh into just the right spot and Rey rocked against it, liking the way it made Zorii exhale this breathy little moan. They were secluded enough here that she wasn’t too concerned about someone seeing them, and in any case, she had already walked past at least three handsy (more than handsy) couples before she’d come across Zorii so it wasn’t like they were the only ones.

“Whatever you want,” Zorii agreed, nipping beneath Rey’s ear, sucking at her jawline until Rey practically purred, clutching Zorii’s hips.

She yanked, and Zorii came tumbling all the way into her lap, laughing breathlessly. “Okay, okay,” Zorii said, “show-off.”

Rey rolled her hips, rubbing against Zorii through their clothes, kissing her laughing mouth. She felt pressure building and building, a swell of warmth pooling low in her belly and spreading out, intensifying with every kiss, every touch, each small sound Zorii made. She looked up into the trees as Zorii dragged her tongue down Rey’s throat to bite at the hollow at the base; she watched the blue sky and the dappled sunlight and thought, _I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive,_ and let herself let go.


End file.
